Choosing Pain

Everyone experiences emotional pain. Most people don't realize, however, that they have a choice in the matter.

If I win the lottery or get stabbed in the leg, those things are just experiences. It's the story I tell myself about the experience that makes it "good" or "bad" in my mind.

For example, if my lottery payout was $3000.00 I could tell myself that I was ripped off. I didn't win the "big pot" and get a check for millions. I just got a lousy three grand. This story would create pain, whereas being grateful for the extra money could be a joyful experience.

Being stabbed in the leg requires context. Perhaps I'm having a tumor removed, and the surgeon uses a scalpel. In that case, being "stabbed" is part of my path to healing. Perhaps I have a severe allergic reaction, and an epinephrine shot saves my life. Even if I'm stabbed while being mugged, the story I tell myself still matters. I can be grateful that the wound wasn't deadly, for example. I can feel empathy for the person who stabbed me, and for the unfortunate combination of choices and circumstances that led him to that point.

Events are just events. It's my story that creates my pain.