The Message of Anger

Anger is triggered by external events, but it lives within each of us. When we identify with it and frequently allow it to take over, it can negatively impact our health and relationships.

The things that feed anger can be small, building up over time until the pressure is released by an explosive outburst. Anger can also be an immediate reaction to an unanticipated occurrence.

There is a hidden message in every angry thought, feeling and action. The message is that something isn't right. It might be something with you, with the way you are processing or failing to process emotion. It might be with your environment or the people in your life.

Some events cannot be controlled; they are acts of God. A tornado is one example. When you find yourself angry at such events, it represents a refusal to accept reality. The only path to peace lies in changing yourself.

You do not have complete control over the behavior of other people, but you can change how you interact with and react to them. You can invite them to change, and if they refuse then you can invite them to play a different role in your life such as being absent from it. You can also change your perspective, choosing not to take offense.

Finally there are the things that are within your control -- the choices you make that lead to pain. A friend of mine was so fanatical about sports events that he would become angry whenever there was a bad call by a referee or when his team lost. One day he realized he was creating his own pain, so he stopped watching sports. He changed himself and found more peace in his life as a result.

Anger is a signpost that points to deeper truth. It means something needs to change, and most often that something is you.