The Simplicity of Saying No

It can be hard to say no when someone asks us to do something for them, but saying yes to too many things has far-reaching consequences.

I used to think it was my responsibility to always say yes to loved ones, neighbors and strangers who made demands on my time. Saying no was rude, difficult and uncomfortable. Better to spread myself too thin than to be thought of as selfish.

Unfortunately, my desire to avoid short-term pain led to long-term frustration. It was easier to let myself down than to have a potentially awkward conversation. So I set my own goals and dreams on the back burner and lived the life others wanted me to live. It worked pretty well, for a while. Then the disconnect between who I was and who I wanted to be caught up with me.

It's a common misconception that giving is good and taking is bad. It's good to give service to neighbors and friends. It's bad to take time for yourself. It's good to give even when you feel like you have nothing left to give. It's bad to take a break so you can recover. But taking care of your own needs is not selfish -- it's essential. If you spend your whole life "giving till it hurts," eventually the giving will stop and only the hurts will remain.

When giving is a choice, it is more authentic and impactful. People can sense it when we serve them grudgingly. A simple two-letter word can make all the difference. Give what you can when you can, but don't be afraid to say no when the daily demands people place on you prevent you from fulfilling your purpose.

We serve best when our own needs are met. We love most when our own reservoirs are full.